at any rate my mother has discovered a new way of tempting me to wake up.She goes and picks him up and wakes me up.He will coo and wave his arms about and look at me beseechingly, for me to pick me up.Who can resist something like that! I am not kidding  but he is so much cuter than all the wee babies on the tv and all.

anyway, today he got a walker and all.I guess he is gonna all over the place no time.

for clarification, no,I am not.

I am currently the manifestation of lazy, unless you count playing cafe world in facebook as a medium where energy is spent.According to my mother its not,but clicking the mouse does use energy, maybe not that much, but as we malayalees say ‘oru thulli peruvellam‘.That means one drop ,a lot of water.in this context, a lil bit energy spent leads to a lot of energy   spent.Unfortunately my amma (nor my papa for that matter) buy it.

Before my vacations started i was so very hyper, made a list of things to do.Highest energy levels possible.By the time i reached home, i lost the list.well.

I was supposed to  be up by  six today and go for a walk with my dad.I apparently got up , drank the coffee and went back to sleep.Do people do that? Cause i certainly dont remember doing it, i mean my sister used to get up in the middle of the night and wake me up and very seriously ask me to help her look for her fractions.And if i say ‘What???’, she would just look at me like i lost my head and say 5/7 or 1/3 or something with a look of disdain.she would remember nothing the day after, and vehemently ever deny this happening.So yeah, its possible i did what my parents said i did,i just dont remember it.

Iits almost as if my little brain cells (which are not as many as i would wish in the first place) just died out of lack of use.Hopefully they just sharnk or something and would pop right back up.

I don’t know how long I will be here this time. Hopefully not that long. I was initially hoping that I do get to stay home and you know, laze around. But just thinking about the long, long months ahead of me with nothing to do… getting a job seems better. I was all ready to be placed; you know when all the companies rush to our college. That didn’t happen. The companies came and I didn’t even go for one placement meeting or whatever it is called. I still don’t know why. I think I am just intensely the opposite of competitive, which is so not the way to go these days. I told people that I wanted to go home and just sit and smell the roses or the jasmine in my case, nobody is taking me seriously. Like I could be stupid enough not to for the placement, as they said, ‘seriously!  Who does that? There is no time!” .which by the way is true. There is no time.

I am gonna sit at home and quench my thirst of doing nothing. As in I am going to learn to cook ( I love food. I just can’t eat most of it), to relearn the embroidery that I have always been into, get back to playing cards like a pro, learn to play caroms and chess ( I am really bad at caroms and I never learnt chess), learn to swim ,play with the baby next door and learn to tolerate all the not so nice things a baby carries along, like  peeing and vomiting and all the eew!  Stuff, learn stitching if possible. I am gonna learn some things for which I am never going to get a degree for. Maybe some diplomas though. But do they count for anything?

I am also gonna read and watch movies and play games. Maybe that’s more acceptable to society.

  My mother is one of the most creative people I know and she is smarter than a whole lot of people I know too. Its really difficult to match up to her level. She used to keep the expectations for me higher than even her own but I consistently went lower and lower regarding formal education .I am not sure why I am not interested in formal education I understand its extremely important but sometimes I fail to understand why and the moment that happens I tend to lose complete interest. If I like doing something, I am very passionate about it…I read up ,I discuss I learn .But same way my lack of interest can also be very severe, take for example my mathsophobia. I like basic math’s, I like algebra…But matrices and calculus, and trigonometry? They are useful for a engineering course but what is the relevance of it to a business management class? I suppose there are reasons, but I don’t get it. Unfortunately that’s my fall…its so difficult to try.

 My course is getting over , I am passing out ( Hopefully) in around 6-7 months and my life still has no direction. Most of them in my class are planning on running behind an MBA.I am just not interested. My parents want me to do an MBA; the only way I can resist is if I can get a job. I am getting one. Hopefully soon. But will I like it? What do I do if I don’t like it? Is it worth taking some job I don’t like just to gain experience and site it on my resume?

 My resume as of now has nothing in it. Its so very blank in comparison to others. They have written bullshit in it that I know has no real relevance. Part of hospitality committee: that’s what one has written…even I was…we showed people from other colleges around our campus during a fest ( and consequently my calculator was stolen by my guest..grr).and that counts as part of your resume? I am supposed to write all that?

Can I write I love drawing, painting in various forms , Love textures  and all that? Most of the things I know I have taught myself and plan on getting professional help eventually to learn it completely. But I am at a loss. I know things. But they seem to be so irrelevant.

 This is where my mothers planning comes into picture. According to her I shall work for the next 2 years, take six months off study for the CAT exams , spent the next 2 years doing MBA and then get another job and in another year or so get married. Its just that there are so many things I want to do but  I still haven’t get around to it. I want to learn about textiles and textures. I want to learn about batik printing and mixing colours. May be do an interior designing…so many things to do…so little time. Maybe my mother was right. I should start planning.

we had to go on this family road trip and i saw all these women for like a zillion different  jewellery ads.big huge posters and all.
the actual comedy  is that if u stop looking at the girl to look at the jewellery they all look very very same.(the gold that is)the jewellery are all usually heavy with no particular beauty other than the huge mat of gold,with lots of irrelevant details including precious stones, which glitter tantalizingly and  all models show some cleavage.i am not saying the stones arent beautiful,they are.but are all of them so very heavy?
i mean who really wants to wear a huge neck cast and injure themselves?
i am none to say.i havent actually gone to any jewellery as yet.not even cause my car broke down.
the point is i that when i was  driving and all i could see were beautiful women smiling.and smiling.and smiling.
no wonder there are so many accidents these days.